3 Ways to Be There for Others Without Keeping Them Stuck

Shower the people you love with love. –James Taylor

What do we do when the people we love have their lives crashing down around them?  Our first reaction to sympathize and worry about them, but it’s the wrong thing to do.  What you need to do is LOVE them. We are deliberate creators and what do we create when we worry about people? More reasons to worry.

I tend not to share a lot of negative information about myself. Why? Because if I’m sick, I don’t want others visualizing me as sick and adding to that energy.  While our own vibration is what matters most in our lives, we live in a collective vibration and we can affect each others vibrations to a certain degree.  The more positive your vibration is the stronger it is. Abraham-Hicks says  “Someone who takes the time to understand their relationship with source, who actively seeks alignment with their broader perspective, who deliberately seeks and finds alignment with who-they-really-are, is more charismatic, more attractive, more effective, and more powerful than a group of millions who have not achieved this alignment. ”  Obviously, we can help other’s more by staying happy and being in alignment than by worrying.

Abraham, also, says:

You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your thriving that you have anything to offer anyone. If you’re wanting to be of an advantage to others, be as tapped in, turned in, turned on as you can possibly be. — Abraham

So when a friend is diagnosed with cancer, announces they are getting divorced, or experiences some other life trauma, how can we best respond?

1. Be There. Give them a hug if you can. Listen to them, but don’t keep them stuck in the story of what’s wrong. Steer them towards looking for solutions.  Not to say it’s not ok for them to feel their feelings.  It is important to feel the feelings, but don’t let them keep telling the story of what they don’t want, over and over.

2. Shower them with love.  I pray for people by showering them with love. I imagine them healthy, happy, and whole and showered by the grace of God (You can visualize the Universe or Higher Self or whatever you prefer.)  I don’t ask for them to be healed, I see them healed and give thanks. What we believe we receive, so why shouldn’t we believe in and for each other? Positive thought is the best gift you can give.

3. Take action.  Sometimes just being there and thinking positive thoughts for them is enough, but if they need money or some homemade soup or anything you can do to help and it feels right do it. Some of the answers to their desires might come from you.  

A lot of people in my life are struggling right now and I catch myself thinking I’m not feeling bad enough for them, but then I remember, feeling bad does nothing to improve things and I shift to seeing solutions for them and just keep showering the love onto them. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” goes for our thoughts about others, too.

I’d love to hear how you support the people you love or any other comments. To prove it, I’m giving away one of my Angel Card readings (see service page) to one of my commenters during the month of May. I’ll put everyone’s name in random.org and choose a winner to be announced here around June 1st. Then I’ll email the winner with the details if I have access to their e-mail or you can check back here around the first and e-mail me if you’re the winner.

Love and Transformation,


  • Fel (@FelsGotSwag) says:

    I love this, Michelle! And you’re totally right. 🙂

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Thanks! I wrote because I’ve been working on it in my personal life right now and I need to keep reminding myself. 🙂

  • Joy says:

    We create in similar ways. (and I love Abraham Hicks message and affirmations–I usually listen to a short Abraham video while opening my work day). I affirm that I create with love. The biggest, most “positive” change I am making in my life is to surround myself with people who create with love as well. Using discernment with what I share and whom I share allows me to center deeper into practices of presence. It is wonderful to feel a stretch and share it with someone and hear in return an affirmation or reminder of possibility. Life-changing.

    I agree with your tips. And I would add, hold space with unconditional love. Allow them to speak, to be, and simply hold space for their words and steps. So often people jump in with advice or “filler words” when what is needed is space to allow the feeling to completely unfold.

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Joy, I know it’s great to connect without others who support us in this way. I like your addition, too. People definitely need that space to be where they are and when we know they are OK and we don”t have to fix things, it makes it easy for us to give it to them. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  • Sophie says:

    Lovely article and new way of thinking about others in a different light, other than worrying; thanks for sharing!


  • laura39lovesbug26 says:

    Thank you, Michelle. I always get a charge from reading your posts. Not only does this help me in helping others, it helps me help MYSELF. I believe I focus too much on what I perceive as going wrong (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) instead of seeing what’s RIGHT and how I can turn those negative perceptions I have around to positive affirmations. Thank you a million times over for writing this blog. It helps so much.


    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Laura, Thanks so much for your kind words. I love that the blog is helpful to you. I write about what I’m working on in my own life, so I’m glad it resonates with other people too. Have a wonderful weekend and do something sweet for yourself! 🙂

  • Mary Havens says:

    I so totally agree with you on this, as just about everything you write. Last fall when it started to get cold, with the furnaces being turned on, my nose got dried out and would bleed like crazy. I knew why because there were several other women I work with that had the same exact problem, but they went to the doctor for it. Me, I learned what to do from them. So before I found the best solution, my husband and I went to Disney World in Florida for vacation. Well my nose wasn’t healed and it would start to bleed in the most inappropriate times. Such as dinner with a group of people we didn’t know. My husband would tell me that there was something really wrong with me. I needed to go to the hospital, on and on. I told him I was fine. We had bought an extra day pass to stay on Saturday. Well early saturday morning I woke up so sick. I never get sick, never. We had to wait for 6 hours for the bus to take us to the airport, 4 hours on a plane and 2 1/2 drive home that is usually an hour. I told him, never to think of me being sick ever again. It was a perfect example for him. Now if I ever have an ache or pain, he is the last to know. LOL.
    I am like you, I always try to see others well. I often tell people that, don’t look at the worst, there is always something good to focus on.
    Have a great and blessed weekend.

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Mary, Thanks for sharing this story. I agree, we have to learn who to share information with. I have people, who believe like me, that will focus positively for me and that’s who I talk to when I need to get support. Then, there are those people, who will not only visualize you in a negative situation, they’ll share that story with ten other people that will do the same. I’m not sharing any thing but positive news with those people. 🙂

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