I Got Triggered and You Might, Too…

I got triggered, and the truth is if you are a spiritual white woman, you might get triggered, too.

Last year I started following Wild Mystic Woman, Layla Saad, when she wrote an essay on how white spiritual women need to know about white supremacy..
I wrote about it at that time and didn’t publish the piece because I didn’t think that as a white women I should give my opinion In that arena. Voices of women of color needed to be heard.
At least, that’s what I told myself. More likely, I was scared of saying the wrong thing and scared of being judged. I realize now that I will make mistakes and I will sometimes say the wrong things. That doesn’t give me a pass on speaking up and always striving to do better.
I read Layla’s work and tried to learn from it (it’s an ongoing process).  A few weeks ago she posted about some prejudice and hate her young daughter experienced and while many people held space for her pain, many attacked her or tried to explain that she may have misunderstood the intent.
Long and short of it, she was silenced multiple times by Instagram and Facebook deleting her posts. It made me livid to think of some of the crazy stuff on these platforms that is accepted and that a black women expressing her rage and pain was so threatening it was removed.
But, the whole truth is when I first read her post,
I got triggered—-I wanted to say all those things that negate her pain-
Maybe it wasn’t meant in a bad way
Maybe it was a misunderstanding
Maybe the other child was just jealous
Maybe, Maybe, Maybe
Obviously, I needed to be triggered
Layla said things that were hard for me to hear—but I kept my mouth shut.
Even as my mind wanted to say but I’m not one of the bad ones. I stand up for black people in my community when I see racism. Some of my kids and my friends are black. I regularly school my father and extended family members about racism.
​​​​​​​My spirit knew that she and other women of color need their pain to be heard.
I felt uncomfortable to realize that I was part of the problem.
I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t fix it.
I felt uncomfortable being on the outside.
I meditated and I softened and allowed myself to be with my discomfort and I saw that she and other women of color need to vent. Their righteous anger is needed.
And maybe, just maybe, the reason we white women got so triggered by black women is their powerful, untamed magick. It scares us because we’ve forgotten that we have our own magick.
—of course this is a generalization
Of course it is, but black women never let go of their magick—
It was the only way they survived—they’ve had to use it survive being trampled and silenced and vilified.
White women on the other hand, had to hide and cover theirs up to keep their place on the food chain.
Right below the white man.
However, many of us did such a good job covering it up our magick that we forgot we had it at all.
And that’s on us to fix.
Hear me clearly, I’m not putting down white men or white women or any other race—AND—I do see that black women need a safe space to express their pain and their rage and we do not have the right to take that away, even if it triggers us. Growth requires us to feel uncomfortable.
We as white women need to be in own our own magick and power and reach out to women of color as they own theirs.  Women of color do not need white women to be their savior, nor do they desire to be ours. We all have to rise up and embrace our own magick.
I envision a world where we are all powerful and all heard equally, women and men of all races, and for that to happen we are going to have to listen to and emotionally and physically hold out our hands to women of color.
Here’s a few ways to start:
  • Speak up for women of color when you see or hear of oppression
  • Educate yourself about white privilege
  • Support their businesses and their art with your dollars
  • Allow yourself to be triggered and then ask yourself what is making you so fearful
  • Align with your own magick
  • Go to Layla’s post with resources
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”–Buckminster Fuller
I agree with Bucky (the irony of sharing a quote from white man isn’t lost on me)  and  also,I know that I am responsible for my own energy and I choose to see and respond to what-is and consciously stand up to be a part of creating something better.
​​​​​​​I’ve always done so in my real life community but I am committing to standing up against the racism I see online and using my platform, no matter how small, to uplift black spiritual women and their businesses.
​​​​​​​I admit I’m nervous pressing publish on this because I fear my black readers won’t think its enough and my white readers will think it’s not relevant to my work. The truth is I practice in spiritual alchemy and I believe transformation for us all and unless everyone is free none us are.
​​​​​​​I don’t intend to write more on this topic because I know many women of color do so beautifully and I will share their work.
Namaste & Big Hugs,
If you’d like to support Layla, check out her Patreon