How to Fall in Love with your Nose (or anything you hate)
Ok, confession time. I used to hate my nose. Really, really hate my nose. When I was teenager, I would literally try to rip it from my body. Crazy, I know. I wanted a cute, button nose that I thought all the cheerleaders had. I did not want a longish, nose with a slight bump on it. It didn’t help when I heard one of the senior boys in high school saying that I looked like Barry Manilow in drag. The nickname “Barry” caused me a lot of pain. I planned for the day when I finished college and I could save my money and get a nose job.
Once, I was old enough to “buy” a new nose if I so chose, I was dating someone who liked me the way I was. I was, also, afraid of my families reaction should I get rid of the nose that their genetics had gifted me with. So, I ignored it and went on with my life. Still hating my nose, but not really focusing on it.
Several years later, when I realized how important self-love was, I decided I needed to love all of myself and began to think about my nose again. How could I learn to love it? It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen. Now I wouldn’t change my nose for anything. I love it and how it is uniquely mine.
Here are the steps it took for me:
1. Get neutral. It’s hard to go straight from hate to love. So practice just being as ok with your nose (or thighs, etc.) as you can. You don’t have to love it, but don’t curse it either.
2. Increase love for other aspects of yourself. I still could not look at my nose and love it, so I chose to continue to mostly ignore my nose, but focus love on my blue eyes which I have always liked. I would look into my eyes for a few moments every time I looked in a mirror and appreciate them.
3. Look at your nose (or ears, etc.) though someone else’s eyes. I imagined that my parents must think my nose was just fine and my husband, since he married me with the nose I have. I think all of my children have beautiful, perfect noses for their faces, so I decided to look at my nose as I thought my parents or my love would. I have to admit, I believed my parents and my husband probably loved my in spite of my nose, so I chose to look at my nose through God’s eyes, as for me that was the only entity that could truly love my nose. You could, also, look at yourself as you would your child or any child you love.
4. Love something about your nose (or toes). By now, I didn’t hate my nose anymore and I could think somewhat positively about it. I noticed that it seemed to have almost a heart shape on the end of it and I could smile and enjoy how it looked. I began to focus on the end of it and not the bump. There has to be something you can appreciate about the thing you hate. Maybe your ears make you look like a Vulcan or you gained strength from being teased out you feet. Find that at least one good aspect.
5. Flow the love. Over time, I was finally able to flow love to my nose and look at my whole face and be happy with what I saw. The funny thing was after I started feeling better about my nose, other people did, too. My daughter was looking at a sketch of me and she said ” You should be angry at the man who drew this. Your nose is way cuter than he sketched it.” In the past, children had always told me had a big nose, but now people were complementing my nose. It was the same nose, the only thing that changed were my feelings about it.
One last thing, don’t worry that loving yourself as you are will keep you from changing. It’s much easier to lose cellulite or extra body fat, if you are not resisting it. Even if you decide you want to change something, you will likely have better results with dieting or plastic surgery, if you get ok with “what is” first and maybe you won’t want to change anymore. Either way is ok.
One more confession, (this might be more information than you want to know, sorry.) I had flap of skin that hung over my c-section scar, that my doctor called “twin skin.” I didn’t hate it, but it caused be some issues and I decided to visualize finding a fabulous doctor who would remove it easily without any issues. That’s what happened and I love the results. I wonder if I had hated or resisted my body as it was, if I would have such a good experience.
My two cents: love yourself first and then do what feels right. Or you could follow Jeanette Maw’s suggestion to “love that about me.” She, also, has a great self love e-book. Or stop by the Daily Goddess and read how Luzia Light shares that the only resolution worth keeping is to love yourself more.
I’d love to hear your thoughts or comments.
Transforming though Love & Joy,
Michelle Martin Dobbins