I have been a big fan or Cloris Kylie for a while. She has done a several guest posts here on Daily Alchemy and she is launching a fabulous new book today, “Magnificent…Married or Not: Reaching Your Highest Self Before, During, and After Divorce.” I’ve gotten lots of questions from readers here about how to heal after a divorce or break-up and whether or not a relationship is worth saving. Cloris’s book is going to help a lot of people work thought these situations. She’s been gracious enough to let me interview her here on my blog.
1. Who can benefit from reading Magnificent…Married or Not: Reaching Your Highest Self Before, During, and After Divorce? Magnificent…Married or Not is for those who feel they are alone in their struggle to save their marriage, or those who resisted the end of their marriage and yet were left behind.
Your spouse might have abandoned you emotionally, even if you’re living together. Your spouse might have physically moved out to “figure things out.” Your spouse might have filed for divorce. You might have recently signed your divorce papers. You might have been divorced years ago, but your emotions are as raw as though it just happened. If those things have happened, then the book is for you. After you read Magnificent…Married or Not, you’ll feel that there is hope for your life to not only be joyful, but meaningful.
2. Why focus on being “magnificent” when going through such a tough challenge such as separation or divorce?
A life difficulty, especially a challenge that threatens our identity, can become the greatest opportunity for rapid and dramatic growth. Why? Suppose you’re hiking in the woods and encounter a large muddy section on the trail. In order to make it to the other side—without getting muck all over your shoes—you need to take a few steps back to gather the momentum you need. The more momentum you gather, the farther you can jump. The same happens in life: the greatest the challenge, the greatest “momentum” you have to propel yourself forward to a better life.
A separation or divorce deeply challenges what you believed to be true about yourself and also what you believed to be true about love and marriage. Facing such a devastating event can awaken a kind of inner power you never knew existed. The option is to let this event define you, and to live the rest of your life as a victim, which I’m certain, is not what you want.
3. How can we connect to love if we’re separated from our spouse or going through a divorce?
To feel connected to love, you must:
Understand what true love means.
Understand the kinds of love.
Be willing to connect to love by being love.
In Magnificent…Married or Not, I provide guidance to be love so you can manifest love in your life, whether your spouse is with you or not. Once you are willing to be love, you can move away from the negative energies that are making you waste your most precious resource: your life.
I was able to let go of my sense of disconnection only when I understood what love truly meant, and recognized that my husband was his own person with his own mind, who was doing what he thought was best for himself. I put aside my feelings of worthlessness and was steadfast in my intention to love myself. I set myself on a path toward divine love, and by merely being on this path, I was able to love my husband without having to be married to him.
4. Can you share a few tips that would help us feel magnificent, whether or not we are going through marital problems?
Awareness is the key principle to experience magnificence. If you’re using your present moments to dwell on your past mistakes or on the hurt that other people caused you, you won’t feel magnificent. Also, if you’re constantly worried about being laid-off, getting sick, or failing at achieving your goals, you won’t be able to connect with your Highest Self, which is always present, always grateful, and always trusting.
Also, you must become aware of the root cause of your negative emotions, and tackle the root cause rather than be ashamed of the emotion. Do you feel guilty and ugly because you gained 20 lb.? Did you gain the 20 lb. because ice-cream became your way to release stress from work? Why is work so stressful? Do you need to make changes in the work you do? Do you need to change jobs?
Once you have pinpointed the root cause of your negative emotions, take action to improve your life experience. What can you do today that will make you feel empowered to continue on your path to magnificence? Act on this idea, and feel strong as you take action, because you are strong.
5. Tell us about your spiritual journey.
Internalizing the reality of my Highest Self took me years. I had received the information, but only partly digested it. I knew about the nature of my connection with the Divine, but I didn’t know it because I hadn’t completely experienced it. My yearning for more drove me to read the works of inspirational teachers such as Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Anthony de Mello, and Neville Goddard. This information allowed me to gain a different perspective on the world and my role in it.
However, it wasn’t until my life was being turned upside down, it wasn’t until after I had the metaphorical rug of my marriage pulled from under my feet, that I realized I still had a lot to learn. As I embarked on the journey of recovering from betrayal, abandonment, and the breakdown of my marriage, I was forced to become aware of my shortcomings. My sense of self was threatened because I had become deeply attached to my husband and to my marriage. It was only toward the end of this journey that I realized I had completed an intensive course in spiritual growth. Only at this point was I able really to see that I was capable of making a leap from knowing about to really knowing my divine nature. I knew it then because I had experienced it.
With that discovery, everything changed.
I can’t say that my spiritual growth is complete even now, but I’ve certainly learned and grown enough that I feel called to help others through my book, weekly articles, radio show, and online courses. Helping others has been a source of happiness and fulfillment.
6. How can we connect with you?
You can connect with me by subscribing to my site, www.cloriskylie.com, and by following me on Facebook or Twitter. I always say that as much as you’re learning from me, I’m learning from you, so I look forward to your questions and comments.
7. Where can we find your book?
Magnificent…Married or Not is available on Amazon and other online retailers, as well as on www.balboapress.com.
I have read Cloris’s book, even though I’m happily married. While it focuses on divorce and relations troubles, the underlying theme is how to be magnificent and happy no matter what and a lot of her advice can apply to other situations. Thanks so much Cloris for taking the time to answer my questions. If you have any questions or comments, Cloris would love to hear them and so would I. To prove it, I’m giving away a copy of my new e-book, Personal Alchemy and an Angel Card Reading to one of my commenters during the month of April. I’ll put everyone’s name in random.org and choose a winner to be announced here around May 1st. Then the winner can e-mail me to claim their prize. Watch this space as I’ll be changing up my give-aways this year. Some months it’ll be oils and maybe crystals and some months it will be some of my new products and classes that are coming soon!
Transforming through Love and Joy,
Michelle Martin Dobbins
Namaste & Hugs,
Michelle Martin Dobbins