Oopsie! Spiritual People can be Jerks, too!

Sometimes we do things that make ourselves wince.  Things that we would take back if we could.  If we think about it, we never do “bad” things when we feel good, but that doesn’t help us when we in the moment of “Oh, my what did I just do?!?”

Last week, I yelled at my kids on the way out of the door to school.  Everyone was crying and upset in the car on the way to school.  No raving this morning.  I was just trying to breathe and calm down. Even though I was still angry, it was quickly turning to regret and guilt.  I was going down the emotional scale fast. What to do?  Sometimes, we can’t make everything right in this red-hot moment, but this is the three-step process I complete to get back to being the positive person I want to be.

1. Feel the feeling.  It doesn’t work for me just to pretend it didn’t happen and smile.  I have to take the time to feel the feeling and I try to feel it in my body.  Maybe the guilt burns in my stomach or aches in my arm.  Once the feeling starts to dissipate, I move step number 2.

2. Soothe myself.  I have to tell myself a better story.  Instead of “How could I yell and my kids and set them up for a bad day at school and lots of future therapy?”  I shift to things like “My kids are resilient. They’ve probably already forgotten.” or “Everyone loses it sometimes.” 

3. Re-Do it. Some people say you can’t go back in time and what’s done is done, but I believe time is relative and that I can change my past.  I go back in my mind and see how I would have done things if I had been feeling good.  Lola Jones teaches sending things back to the void, or the nothing that everything was created from.

Bonus** Make Amends. If you still can’t let go or you it just feels right, make amends.  I showed up with treats for my kids when I picked them up that afternoon.  They came out of the school smiling and happy and didn’t seem to remember that morning when I apologized for yelling. They didn’t need the treats but liked them.

Here is a video from Abraham-Hicks during which a man asks about hurting his wife’s feelings with things he had said. Abraham says that we aren’t responsible for other’s feeling and we just need to get into our own vortex, ie. happy place, but for me if I feel bad about what I’ve done, I’ve got to own that before I can move on and get back in my vortex.  Still, there’s some good advice here.

We all need to accept that we are not perfect and that we all experience what we are vibrating and have compassion for each other.  I always try to remember that a cranky clerk or an aggressive driver wouldn’t act that way if they were happy.  So if you make an Oopsie, forgive yourself and move on.

How do get back on track when you feel bad for something you’ve done?  I’d love to hear your comments and ideas. To prove it, I’m giving away one of my Angel Card readings (see service page) to one of my commenters during the month of March. I’ll put everyone’s name in random.org and choose a winner to be announced here around April 1st. Then I’ll email the winner with the details if I have access to their e-mail or you can check back here around the first and e-mail me if you’re the winner.

  • Bless all of our hearts! You handling things in this manner is the greatest gift you can give your children. They are lucky to have you! 🙂 Thanks for sharing these great tips. Much Love, Michelle!

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Thanks, I learned so much about soothing myself from you. Guilt and Anxiety do us no good.

  • ninagrao says:

    Great tips Michelle, we’re human so we’re not going to act the way we want to always, but cleaning it up the way you did was great. I try to feel the feeling in the moment, but it’s still a little difficult for me at times, so I take time away from the situation and stew first, then I’ll dive into the feeling, then I’ll go back and discuss the situation and apologize if I said something I didn’t meant to, and then all is hunky dory.

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Nina, good point, sometimes we need some time and istance before we can feel the feeling. It’s not easy to do when you driving down the road or in a restaurant and sometimes we just need to be cranky for awhile. We’re all human, after all. Thanks for sharing.

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