Making Tough Parenting Decisions LOA style
“How would you live with yourself if something happened to her?”
My daughter is traveling to a third world country, whatever exactly that means, to do volunteer work and experience a new culture. Someone recently asked me the above question. It hit me in the heart like a ton of bricks. I teared up and I was angry.
I had done my diligent research about the trip and the destination. There are some risks. She will have to get vaccinated and take a malaria preventive but I feel like it is reasonably safe.
Plus was not my decision. It was hers. I told her she could not sit in her bedroom all summer, only part of it. She had to find something productive to do. She found this. She is passionate. She is excited. She is in her vortex. She is going to see elephants and help orphans. She is over the moon.
Is it hard for me to let her go? A little, but that’s about me not her. I know this is the something that will bring her joy and she’s going for the right reasons and it will be a fabulous adventure for her.
So how do I answer the question “How do I live with myself if something happens to her?”
How do I live with myself if nothing happens to her? As Dory says in Finding Nemo, a life in which nothing happens is not much fun. I want her to grow, explore, connect and be blissfully her vortex. I know that she has chosen this trip for all the right reasons and we are able to allow her to go, so I’m sending her off with kisses, white light and visions of hearing all the incredible stories from her about how wonderful it was when she gets home.
Sometimes people who live in the fear-based world don’t understand my decision making process and that’s ok. I don’t understand why they would want to make their choices based on fear. Still, sometimes when we are dealing with our children it gets even more tricky to because we navigating more than one person’s vortex or happy place.
My Tips for Parenting Decisions LOA Style
Get in your vortex: If you are not feeling relaxed, happy and aligned with source, you could begin making decisions based on fear. You want to make your decisions based on love and get in the space as much as you can before you make a decision. We might shoot down our children’s’ ideas and desires without giving them the proper consideration.
Make sure they are in their vortex: If your child is basing their requests on their truest heart’s desires then they are in their vortex. If they are asking to do something that you feel is due to peer pressure or the desire to please their friends or you or just because it’s what they have been told is the next step. Have them take some time to think about how they would feel if they were able to do what they desire and see if it really feels good to them.
Look at the current realities: Your child may want to take a trip or purchase an item that you both feel would be wonderful for them but if you don’t have the funds, education, etc that they need to get it. Then a little more work will need to be done. Teach them how to line up with their desire and take inspired action to manifest it.
Say yes to everything you can: Most kids hear NO way more than they hear yes. I will even say yes to things that may not be the highest and best decision for my child if I feel like it is safe and it will help them learn to tune into their own feelings more. Obviously, as parents it’s our job to keep our children from harm but when you raise them to believe they are competent and that they can trust their guidance there are few times when you will need to say no. Don’t forget your child is a unique individual with so much to offer to the world so let them be that shining light they were meant to be.
Work together: If you have to nix one of their desires for now, talk to them about what feeling they wanted to get from that desire and if there is something else they could do to get this same feeling. This won’t always work especially if you are dealing with a two-year-old having a tantrum but you’ll find your child are pretty astute and even if they can’t go there in the moment of upset they might be able to in a few days or weeks.
Oh, I almost forgot: DO NOT ASK ANYONE ELSE”S OPINION!! It will muddy up the water and stress you out. I know being asked how I would cope with something happening to my daughter did not feel good and I would have avoided it if I could but she is so excited she is telling everyone that she is going.
What works for you when you have tough decisions to make about your children’s lives? I’d love to hear how you handle it.