The Rudeness Has to Stop



I find myself writing  many posts about hiding and pretending lately. Eek! There’s a message there for me. You spot it you got it. But what does hiding have to do with rudeness?

One of my coaches called me out this week. I was looking for support over my fear around sharing my book amongst my family and friends who aren’t my target audience.

I was whining to her. It’s scary and it kinda sucks sometimes to put yourself out there for everyone to see. I don’t want people to peep in at my life and the personal things I share in the spirit of helping others. I want to hide part of myself from people who don’t really want grow. It’s none of their business and I don’t want to be the “weirdo.” (Yep, when I see it in print, I can see that this is not a good story to be telling.)

She reminded me that I have already came out to the world as the spiritual alchemist that I am, right here on this very blog in fact where anyone who cares can find it if they chose to. And most of the people I’m worried about don’t choose to.

True enough.

But then she dropped the bomb.

“Frankly, Michelle, it’s just plain rude for you to hold back or express anything less than your authentic self. The people who desire to hear your message deserve better.”


Rude. Hmm, ok, if I don’t share my gifts then I’m not the only one who is missing out, but rude?  I looked it up in the dictionary and I see impolite, discourteous  and not showing concern for the rights and feelings of other people. Dang, if it doesn’t ring true. If I don’t let my light shine and be who I am, then everyone who reads this blog is being short-changed.

Total perspective shifter there.

So I’ve decided to be brave, for me and for you. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes and my beliefs will probably evolve, but I’ll be straight with you and everyone else. I still might wake up at night and wonder if  it’s safe to share my truth, but I’ve decided brave is better than safe. Thank goodness people aren’t getting burned at the stake for their beliefs in this day and age.

If you feel like you sometimes water down your truth to help others in your life stay comfortable, I invite you to join me.

I know lots of my readers are light-years ahead of me on this subject, but if you need support to be who your heart calls you to be too, here are a few quotes to inspire you to stick to path:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”–Marianne Williamson

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” –Buddha

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – Carl Jung

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”
― Allen Ginsberg

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”
― Harvey Fierstein

“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.”
― Leo Buscaglia


Let’s all be brave!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on sharing who your really are or any comments you may have.  To prove it, I’m giving away a copy of my new ebook, Personal Alchemy  and an Angel Card Reading to one of my commenters during the month of April. I’ll put everyone’s name in and choose a winner to be announced here around May 1st. Then the winner can e-mail me to claim their prize. Watch this space as I’ll be changing up my give-aways this year. Some months it’ll be oils and maybe crystals and some months it will be some of my new products and classes that are coming soon!

Sorry for the delay, the March winner is Michelle Lee. E-mail or message me your address to claim your Stress Away Oil.

Don’t forget you can sign up to win prizes and learn about all the books launching at Difference Press, including Personal Alchemy, on April 9th. Sign up here for the Book Launch Party.

Transforming through Love and Joy,

Michelle Martin Dobbins


  • clorisstock says:

    Great post, Michelle! Yes, being authentic can be scary and it’s easy to give ourselves excuses for not being authentic in front of certain people (or even most people!) We are all happy and blessed you’ve decided to share your message with us.

  • Thanks, Cloris! You are a great role model of sharing your truth. I’m hoping it eventually becomes normal for us all.

  • Oh, I love that thought: “being our brilliant selves and living out loud as NORMAL for us all!” 🙂

  • Laura says:

    This message has been a recurring theme for me lately. Maybe it’s time I paid attention! Although, I had heard it referred to as being selfish rather than rude. But I’d say they fall in the same general category.

  • […] #1 of my week came from a beautiful woman I’ve known since I was five years old.  Michelle Martin Dobbins launched her first book into the universe on Thursday, and on Friday the universe delivered Amazon […]

  • Great article! Thanks for sharing this. I love the quotes, especially the Buscaglia one, which I’ve never seen before.

    Love and light,

  • Lorraine says:

    Being out with others who don’t know us is definitely easier than coming out to those who have always known us. Family dynamics are a powerful force, and often difficult to change without some radical energy to crack them open. I suppose the good news is there will always be ample opportunity to come out again and again as we continue to grow and evolve further. 🙂

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