The Magic Combination to Create Rockstar Kids (or Spouses, Employee’s etc.)

Rock Star Girl

All parents want their children to succeed and be happy.  Sometimes the very fact that we want it so much causes us to derail their success, temporarily. In the long run, our children are in control of their own lives and will make their own decisions regardless of what we do or don’t do. Still, we want to give them the best support we can.

As a parent of four children, I’ve had times when I was delighted because my kids were succeeding like rock stars and other times that felt fear that things weren’t going well for them. We all want to be in that first category and have successful children. First, we need to be aware that our idea of success may not be our children’s. We may dream for them to break records on the swim team, but they want to play the drums in a band.  You can’t measure your children’s success based on your desires, if they feel successful then they are successful. End of story. It’s their life and they get to pick what success means to them. Now as parents we can insist that they do what we want while they’re young, but remember, how would you feel if you weren’t following your passions, but someone else’s? It doesn’t work so well.

So, if we are on the same page that children should pick their own desires, then how do we help them follow their dreams? There’s a magic combination that will give your child the best support to go out and succeed in the world.

The Magic Combination: Faith + Celebration

Faith: Have faith in your kids. Know that they can feel what is right for them. Know that they have the same inner guidance that you do. When we have faith in our children and we know they are capable, strong and passionate individuals, they can feel it. Our belief in them helps them, so much more than any doubt, worry, or mistrust would.  As parents, we can help teach our children to believe in themselves by modeling it, when we believe in ourselves and them.

Celebration: Celebrate with your kids over their dreams and their successes. Just the fact that they are making plans and mapping out their dreams is something to celebrate.  They need to know that we think they are fabulous and that we’ve got their back.  They need lots high fives, fist pumps and cheers. Be their biggest fan club. Don’t point out where they can improve, but rather focus on the things that they are already doing right. If you need ideas on how to celebrate, I love this post by Pam Grout about practicing celebrating.  Try these exercises with your kids.  Your house will be filled with rock stars!

This magic combination, also, works on husbands or wives starting new business or careers, employees taking on new responsibilities, and retired parents. Having faith in someone and celebrating with them gives them a great jumping off place for their own success.

I’d love to hear how your support your children and other’s in your life as they reach out to follow their dreams. To prove it, I’m giving away a Facebook “manifesting plan” to one of my commenters during the month of July. I’ll put everyone’s name in random.org and choose a winner to be announced here around Aug 1st. Then I’ll email the winner with the details if I have access to their e-mail or you can check back here around the first and message me on my Facebook page. Once you tell me what you want to create, I’ll create a personal manifesting plan for you and we’ll make sure it feels good to you.

Transforming through Love and Joy,

Michelle Martin Dobbins

  • Laura S. says:

    What I’ve come to realize is that I have to be a Rockstar to myself, a celebrant of my own successes and ignore or brush off my missteps. I was brought up thinking that I had to be “Perfect” in the way that my family wanted me to be and, as I haven’t quite yet gotten out of that thinking, it’s caused me many side-loops and caused me to go in directions that I didn’t really want to go in. No blame attached – it’s just that that’s where my thinking got stuck.

  • Laura,
    Amen! Most of us had families that did the best they could, but didn’t know how to support us. I think giving ourselves that support is so important, not just to ourselves but to our children or other’s around us. People don’t do want to we say, that do what we do. I’ve realized that loving and caring for myself is one of the greatest gifts I can give my children, because it teaches them how to do it for themselves.

    • Laura S. says:

      Yes! I didn’t learn to take care of myself in some ways, because I didn’t grow up in that model. I’ve always put others first. I don’t have children, and I don’t have a partner right now, so (at 43!) I’ve started really caring for myself. Not to say that others aren’t important or that I always come “first,” but I’ve recognized the importance of caring for myself as well.

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