What Did You Give for Valentine’s Day?

valentine love you suckerIt’s not Valentine’s day, yet, be what are we planning on giving this year.  I often get asked after Valentine’s Day “What did you get?”  Maybe it’s different for men but it seems like women are often asked what they received, not what they gave. It seems when we’re complaining about what we were given or not given, we’re not happy. Givers, on the other hand, are usually happy.

When I was home at Christmas time, I found my old junior high journal. Uughh!  It was painful to read, but one entry really struck me.  The cheerleaders in our school did a fundraiser every year at Valentine’s Day. They sold “lollipop grams.” Students could buy a heart-shaped sucker and fill out a little card with a note to be delivered to any other student in the school. First of all, let me say not only was I not a cheerleader but I was painfully shy in junior high. Painfully. In this journal entry, I was complaining how I had heard the one of the cheerleaders say “We sold over a 1000 lollipop grams and there are only 600 students in the school.”  You do the math.  Everyone in the school could have gotten at least one lollipop. The way it shook down was popular kids got lots, some kids who were dating got one from their significant other, and I got none.  Well, not just me, there were lots of us sad souls, but back then I was only worried about me. That was my main problem.

When I read this I wanted to do two things.  First, I wanted to give twelve-year-old me a hug and tell her it’s ok.  Second, I wanted to ask her “Why in the world don’t you send some lollipop grams?”  Why did I think the popular girls got so many?  It wasn’t because they had 10 boyfriends.  It was because they all send them to each other. Duh!  I had lots of friends I could have sent one to, but I was so worried about not getting any that I never send any. Maybe I still wouldn’t have gotten any, but I would have felt better because I made other people smile and chances are that next time one of them would have sent me one. I could have even send one to myself.  Sadly, I never sent any and I never got any.

Why does this matter?  Even though we are told always told it better to give than receive, it took me a while to get it. I always waited to follow someone else’s lead, for way too long in my life. I wasn’t very happy until I got this. I placed my happiness on hold while I waited for someone or something outside to give it to me.  Not any more.  As I studied positive thought, I found that giving to other’s  not only makes it more likely for me to get what I want, it also makes me happy right now, whether I ever get a “lollipop gram” or not.

We can give all the time,not just at holidays.  One of my favorite sites is 29gifts.org,where member’s sign up to give 29 gifts in 29 days.  If I ever get in a rut, I focus on giving for a while and it lifts me up. I like to give little anonymous gifts. When I was a teacher, I loved to put little treats in everyone’s staff mailboxes. Now that social media and blogging are part of my life, I like to take the time everyday to find as many things to “like”, comment on, share, and retweet as I can. Just as I can’t sit back and wait to get a lollipop, I can’t sit back and wait for comments to come to me, I have to give them to others. It makes me smile to think that my comment would let them know that someone cares what they have to say.  There are so many ways to give, even just a minute of your time to make a phone call or a nice comment on Facebook.

If you’re one of those people who freely gives to others, but not to yourself, you might want to check out Crystal Nuding’s post on being your own valentine.

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you give something special.  I’d love to hear you thoughts. To prove it, I’m giving away one of my Angel Card readings (see service page) to one of my commenters during the month of February. I’ll put everyone’s name in random.org and choose a winner to be announced here around March 1st. Then I’ll email the winner with the details. If you like my Facebook page in the box on the right side,  I’ll put your name in twice.

 Love and Alchemy,

Michelle

  • Akanksha says:

    Hi… nice post…
    For me …its not just what I give but how I give…its the feelings behind that makes the gifts valuable…
    & it would be great if u can drop by on my blog & comment on what does V-Day means to u..
    http://akanksharastogi.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/valentines-day-what-does-it-mean/

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      Akanksha,
      That is so true. I would include just sending loving thoughts or a smile as giving and it can mean just as much. I enjoyed your blog and thoughts on Valentine’d Day.

  • Thomas says:

    My wife and her co-workers rarely get a chance to eat during a normal work day – it’s usually one emergency after another. So I am sending my wife a nice basket of candy-coated pretzles, kettle-corn, and other snacks to tide them over.

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      It’s wonderful that you are making the day nicer not only for your wife but her co-workers as well. Thanks for commenting.

  • demistevens says:

    Oh, what a trip down memory lane, Michelle. I can picture then-shy folks like you and me sulking in our respective sugar-free corners at EJHS. Maybe we should sell some lolli-grams at the next reunion!

    • Michelle Dobbins says:

      I know, right? I’ll buy you one! 🙂 My daughter, who is in middle school, came home from school on Valentine’s Day talking about how crazy people were getting over the candy grams at her school. I hadn’t know they did them, so I asked her if she bought anyone any, she said “No, why would I want to pay a dollar to send a note and a little piece of candy? I made my own.” She is practical. She did, however, receive one from a BOY! She wanted to know why he would pay a dollar to say “What’s up?” She, also, said one boy sent one to six girls in her class that all said “I love you.” Ahh, middle school.

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